one two three fourrrrnication!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
