I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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