when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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