So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
