Screwed.edu
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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