I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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