She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
