We're like a lot better than the average bears
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
