The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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