haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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