Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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