Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
