stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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