Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
