batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize