They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't turn off my feet"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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