Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
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