sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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