If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
