You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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