I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
