I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
