Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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