We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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