This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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