...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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