check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
