I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
