he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”