i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Randomize
