dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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