We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
