for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
