We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
