That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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