You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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