just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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