how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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