This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
