It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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