i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
