so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Randomize
