we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
