So drunk its hurt
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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