Buhtt sex?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
