Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
