i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
