I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
