Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
These tits shall not be calmed
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