Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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