I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
