I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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