wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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