Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
