Whod you bang
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
