She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
