Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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