She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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