She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
do herpes really smell.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Randomize
