What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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