I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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