I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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