Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
